Friday, May 17, 2013

Daughter not a doer

     The past few days have been amazing! God has been teaching so much. It's all about just knowing Him and being with Him and becoming love, whatever that looks like for the person in front of me. It's just so awesome that this journey isn't all about me feeding homeless people. It's about me just being in relationship with my Father and letting Him teach me how to love the person in front of me, whether homeless or not. Whether they need a sandwich or not. Whether they believe in Him or not. Whether they want to talk about Him or not. No matter how it may seem from the outside, this journey has never been merely about feeding homeless people. I absolutely love homeless people and every person I've met on this journey! God has taught me so much and grown my heart so much through the people that I've met, on the streets and in homes. But it's never about what I do. It's about who I am- a daughter. If I ever forfeit being a daughter for being a doer, I'm in big trouble. But I never have to strive to meet a quota or get a good story or feed a certain amount of people or perform well, because that's not what it's about. Feeding a bunch of people or hearing a great story is just a bonus, never the focus. And on this trip where performance could so easily slip into the forefront, I'm so glad my Dad always reminds me that I don't have to strive or perform well to please Him. He's already pleased with me. And He doesn't want a performance anyway, He just wants relationship. He's such a good Dad!
      I've been going back and forth between Washington, D.C. and Baltimore since they're so close. They're different from most cities because in most cities I can find a park full of homeless people, but in these cities the homeless people are kind of sporadically spread out. I haven't really found one central location with a lot of people. And a lot of the parks that I've been to that I would expect to be full of homeless people have actually been full of moms with strollers haha. But despite that, my time here has been great! And I've met some awesome people!
     Yesterday I changed it up and went under a bridge! Sometimes when I go under bridges I find things that are really hard to see. Sometimes under bridge communities are full of people who can't even talk or take in what you say to them. It's areas like, ones that "lights of the world" are often too scared to go into, that need light the most. I think there's something really powerful that happens when a light steps into a place like that. It says, "The light I carry is stronger than the darkness here. The light of Christ is not threatened by this, nor am I afraid of this darkness. I know who is stronger and I know who has the final victory." Placing a lamp in an already illuminated room doesn't change anything. But placing a lamp in a dark room changes atmospheres. Lighting up the darkness is what lamps were made for, not just hanging out in already lit rooms.
     Anyway, yesterday I met William and David (aka Doc) under a bridge. Although it was a place of darkness, both William and David were still in their right minds and we could have good conversation. When I walked up and William and I started talking, he wasn't shy and he just opened right up and told me about his story! He's been homeless about thirteen years and has been living under the bridge where I found him for about three months. He became homeless when both his parents died and he didn't get to keep their house. Him and David have been friends and staying in that spot together the past three months. David was asleep for most of the time that I was there, but he woke up and talked for a while. David didn't tell me much if his background like William did, but he did talk to me about some of his beliefs and his struggles. I got to pray with David and just bless him and tell him how much God loves him. William didn't want me to pray for him, but I still got to pour love on both of them. It was just a good time. I think it means more when I find people in the tucked away places rather than the parks full of tourists or working people. When I find people in the hidden places or the places away from regular society, they're so not used to people being in that area that they're curious and they want to talk. And they know I'm not just giving them a passing glance going to them to share Gods love.

Here's a picture of William reading the Bible I gave him right after I left



After I left them, I found one more spot under a bridge! I found someone's camp, but the person who lived there wasn't home. I left them some stuff, anyway! I love giving anonymous blessings!




     Earlier today I met a different kind of "homeless" person! I was starting to drive into the city then I decided I wanted to go to Starbucks for a bit and spend a little more time just hanging out with my Dad. And God placed lovely Char on my path! As soon as I got out of my car, a lady that was walking past my car started talking to me about my bumper stickers. From there we just started talking and she told me about her story. She's been living in her car the past 6 years. I know there are a lot of people who are homeless but live in their cars, but I haven't met too many of them. Other than Char, the only people who live in cars that I've met we're the acrobatic musicians in New Orleans. Anyway, Char and I just had a fun little time talking about music and art and traveling. Our conversation about music led to me giving her a few awesome worship CDs and a Bill Johnson sermon CD I found in my car. She seemed really excited about getting them, and I was excited to get to give them to her! CDs aren't usually something I can give to the people I meet, but since she had a car with a cd player I could give them to her. And worship music is so special to me, so I love getting to share it! And Bill Johnson is pretty cool, too! I just love the way that God knows that the past few days the searching process has been different than usual, so today He just brought a houseless person to me when I wasn't even looking. He is so good.
     Another thing Gods been teaching me is how when I'm talking to someone, I don't have to try to figure out how I can strategically fit Him into the conversation. I just live in communion with Him and when I'm talking with people, He'll come out naturally. There's just no pressure in the Kingdom and I love that. Everything comes out of a place of resting in Him. God is so good!

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